


Ghosts

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-03-11
Updated: 2007-07-09
Packaged: 2018-12-27 07:02:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12075939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: After Justin has left, Brian has some very strange nighttime visitors. Kind of based on Dicken's Christmas Carol.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes: My first fic on this site. Please be gentle.  


* * *

Brian Kinney wasn't someone who dreamt very often. 

To be precise, he rarely dreamt at all.

He slept dead-like, the peaceful slumber of someone who had nothing to be afraid of.

But lately, against all odds, he just had to close his eyes and he was far away in dream-land, although he didn't like those dreams one bit and would have given his right hand to get rid of them. 

It had begun when Justin had left. As if his life hadn't been worse enough at this time, hell no – someone seemed to think that it was just the icing on the cake if he had those fucking dreams which always left him with this feeling of emptiness and need of a certain blond. 

He hadn't told anybody about this. Of course he hadn't – imagine Mikey's face when he would tell him that he was beginning to fear the night because of some dreams. He would literally shit his pants.

Those dreams weren't the stereo-typical nightmares that left you shaking and screaming, like it had happened with Justin shortly after the bashing. There wasn't any blood or murderers or knives, guns or anything that one might be afraid of. But there were ghosts. Ghosts of his past, of his present and, fucking hell, of his future.

How exactly had he ended up in a bad remake of Dickens's Christmas Carol? He wasn't very Scrooge-like, was he? He was an astonishingly handsome sex-god who accidentally fall down to earth to meet his admirers, he had reached every goal that he wanted to reach, he was successful as one could be and he had everything he wanted.

So what about these dreams?! It annoyed the shit out of him.

And it scared him. 

In the first night after Justin's departure, ghost #1 had arrived. Well, at least those stupid ghosts had the decency to arrive one after another per night and not, as Dickens's described, in one night. Gosh, better don't even think about that possibility as it would have probably driven him nuts, all those fucking ghosts celebrating around him while he banged his head against a wall.

Anyway, it had happened on Friday night. He had just fallen asleep, just after he got home with Mikey, when he suddenly felt a light tapping at his shoulder. (Of course he didn't really feel it, he knew that by now, but at that moment he thought of it as a real tapping.) With Justin gone only a few hours, his mind hadn't realized the loss yet and he had shooed the hand away, thinking it was his lover who just wanted another round of hot, passion filled sex. And he wasn't in the mood back then. (That should have disturbed him, as he NEVER wasn't in the mood for hot, passion filled sex with Justin.) "Lemme sleep, sunshine", he mumbled sleepily. "I'm tired." 

But the tapping didn't stop. Of course it didn't stop, as it wasn't Justin but this fucking ghost. "Na, I won't," a very happy Ted replied, "and you will have to get up and come with me."

Slowly Brian opened his eyes, only to meet the gaze of a overenthusiastic Ted, who grinned at him as if he just won the lottery. "What the fuck do you think you're doing in my bedroom?!" Brian exclaimed, shoving Ted on the floor and jumping up as if someone had peeked a needle into his buttocks – anyway, being awakened by a foolishly grinning Ted wasn't less shocking than being poked by a needle.

"I'm taking you with me," Ted replied nonchalantly, suddenly being not very Ted-like at all. "There is something I need to show you."

"Fuck you, Ted, I'm not going anywhere with you. I'd rather eat the one ball that I've left before I let you drag me out here to show me something! I'm not Emmett!"

Ted didn't even wince at the yelling, and this somehow showed Brian the seriousness of the situation. Ted, not wincing although he was screaming at him? This was way out of character. Way, way out.

"It's not as if I'm giving you any choice," Ted said matter-of-factually. "I just thought it would be nicer to inform you before we go."

Brian was about to open his mouth in order to tell his employee in the same annoyingly neutral voice that he indeed wasn't his employee any more by now, when Ted just grabbed his wrist, smiled gleefully and suddenly Brian felt as if he was being pulled backwards by an invisible force. He gasped slightly at the unexpected sensation and closed his eyes.

When he opened them again, very careful this time, he was staring at Justin. A much younger Justin, to be precise. This Justin hadn't gained the confidence and self-assurance yet that marked _his_ Justin, the present Justin. This was a copy of the past, around the time when they just met. At this point, Brian slowly began to realize that he was dreaming, as this was the only explanation for his surroundings.

Anyway, younger or not, the image of his lover in front of him had the same effect on him as usual – he just wanted to stroll over and hug him, feel the softness of those pouty lips and smell this typical Justin-smell. "Justin..." he said softly, startling himself with the longing that could be heard in the two syllables. Gosh, he really was turning into a lesbian.

"Where are you going, Justin?" a voice barked through the vision, and Justin frowned a little. 

"I'm just going to see Daphne," the blonde answered, and suddenly realization crashed down on Brian like a brick-wall. He was indeed on his way to Daphne – to borrow her car. Then, he would drive to Brian's... and he would meet Mr. GoodFuck... and he would hear Brian's "rules" for the first time. Smashing.

"Yes, that's exactly where we are," Ted said, crossing his arms over his chest, a manly gesture that couldn't be any more unfitting. "About 20 minutes before you break his heart. For the first time, I have to add, as you've broken it about a dozen times on your way. Anyway, why did you do this? You knew, even back then, that he was more to you than just another one of those nameless tricks. The first time you tasted him, kissed him, felt him, you knew that this would carry on. So why did you do it?"

"I didn't love him back then," Brian answered, staring at the blonde who hopped into the car, "and I didn't want to. Didn't want my life to change."

Ted shook his head, took his wrist again and suddenly they were sitting in the back of the car, watching the intermezzo between himself and younger Justin through the windows. He cursed his former self and desired to hold the blond, whose shoulders began to fall down. 

Justin opened the door and hurled himself in, starting the engine and drove away, never looking back. Tears streamed over his face and blurred his vision, and Brian, sitting at the backseat, felt like yelling at him for putting himself in risk only for this idiot who was stupid enough to let him go. But wait – didn't he just do that in real life?

He gritted his teeth, never taking his eyes of the blonde who drove in an amazing speed towards Liberty Avenue. "You want Mr. GoodFuck, Brian Kinney?" Justin muttered. "I'll make sure that you get him!" With this, he parked and hopped out of the car, angrily slamming the door and wiping away the tears. He sighed and drove his hands through his hair, checking his looks in the reflecting window of the car and by this looking directly into Brian's eyes. The brunet stared at him and furrowed his brows. 

"What is this fuck about?" he exclaimed and threw a questioning glare at Ted or whoever that was who sat beside him in this stupid dream car. "What is he doing?"

"You didn't know that, did you?" Ted replied, looking smug. "Of course he never told you and none of us knew. Well, you wanted Mr. GoodFuck, so he decided to become what he thought you desired." He pointed in the direction of Justin, who inhaled deeply and turned around, strolling into – _bloody hell –_ Meat Hook. Fucking fabulous. 

"He went into Meat Hook?! And you let him, you filthy bastard?!" he cursed and tried to get out of the car. "Justin!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. "Jesus, Justin, for fuck's sake, come back in! Get in the stupid car or I swear I'll poke a second hole in your ass! COME BACK IN!" 

Ted didn't even flinch, he merely leaned back, apparently feeling very comfy. "He can't hear you," he stated. "And, just to get that straight, this is a picture of the past. You can't change anything. It has already happened."

"Fuck that! Why did you show me this?!" Brian roared, turning around and meeting Ted's eyes, who didn't seem to be impressed at the sight of the brunet's anger in the slightest. "This is insane! Stop it! I don't want him in there! He could bloody well get hurt! GET HIM THE FUCK OUT OF THAT PLACE!" He grabbed Ted's collar and started to shake the shorter man roughly but without any success.

"I can't," he replied calmly, "as I said, it has already happened. And if you want to blame someone, don't look at me. You know damn well who is responsible for this." 

Brian's rage faded away, being replaced by an overwhelming feeling of horror. Ted was right – he had sent Justin away, he made him to stuff like this, he had given him this "maximum of pleasure, minimum of bullshit"-rule. It was his fault, and the realization made his mouth dry.

"I don't want this shit any more," he whispered hoarsely. "I want to go home. Now."

"No," Ted answered. "But soon." He smiled lightly and tapped at his watch, making the watch hands increase their speed. The people outside zoomed in and out of focus and Brian started to feel a bit dizzy, when suddenly everything came to a halt. Justin appeared in front of the car, opened the door and let himself fall on the seat, wincing slightly when he hit the soft cushions. His wrists were sore, his hair was ruffled and his lips were swollen. Brian didn't even want to think about the reasons why. 

"Nobody should be worth this pain," Justin mumbled and shook his head, starting the engine. The sound awoke Brian out of his slumber and he sat up straight in his bed, breathing heavily. 

And that was only dream and bloody ghost #1.


	2. Chapter 2

  
Author's notes: As promised, the next chapter. Hope you like it! Please leave a review!  


* * *

Over the following day, he somehow managed to stop thinking about what had happened during the last night. It probably was just a silly dream and, hell, what could one expect – the only person he had ever loved with all his heart had just left for an unknown amount of time and he didn't know when he would see him again. There wasn't anything extraordinary about that, leaving out this weird vision of Ted (who was having a very hard time that day without knowing why and silently cursing the mad temper of his boss).

When he came back home that day he thought for a second about going to Woody's or Babylon, but he somehow felt too exhausted for doing anything else than go to bed early. No wonder, as he hadn't slept exceptionally well last night.

Anyway, he had just laid his head on his pillow when he felt the mattress beside him sink lower, due to some other weight. He groaned and opened his eyes, meeting the gaze of the fucking fiddler.

"Hi", the greasy haired kid said, smiling stupidly.

Brian jumped out of his bed and stared at him in utter disbelief. "What the fuck are you doing here?" he bellowed, looking around frantically for any sign of damage that Ethan must have made to get in here.

"I wanted to talk to you", Ethan replied, getting up, too. "It's about Justin."

Brian narrowed his eyes and his voice went ice-cold. "There's nothing about him I want to share with you."

"Well, I don't care. This will interest you", the fiddler said, not one bit intimidated. Brian growled at him like a hungry wolf.

"We are not interested in the same things", he stated firmly. Ethan just smiled brighter.

"We are", he corrected. "Justin."

Brian rolled his eyes but didn't say anything.

"Come on, it's not as if you have a choice in this. I'm taking you with me one way or another, but I'd prefer the easy way. You owe it to me."

"I owe you nothing", Brian spat, crossing his arms over his chest. Ethan chuckled.

"You do. You lied to me. Remember that time you spotted me in the park, playing violin? I told you about the contract and you said I should take my chance. I asked you if you only said so to get Justin back. You said you didn't want him." He raised an eyebrow. "Got my point? You. Lied. In. My. Face."

Brian clenched his teeth. "I didn't make him leave you. That was your fault."

"Well, yes, but that's not what I want to show you." A grin crossed his features. "I'll show how I made him leave you." He extended his hand and looked at Brian, waiting. 

Anger boiled through his system and made it nearly impossible not to grab that little bit of hair that Ian called 'beard' under his lips to make the stupid fiddler squirm and scream in pain, but another part of his body really wanted to know what he would get to know if he took Ian's hand. He sighed, grabbed the hand and suddenly he found himself in a shabby looking apartment, being stared and hissed at by a very pissed off looking cat.

"Shh, calm down, Wolfram", Ethan's voice came from behind, and there he was – the real Ethan and not that ghost-like thing next to Brian, who smiled proudly when his real self passed them and settled himself next to the cat, stroking its fur.

"Look what a hottie I am", he said confidently, "no wonder that he left you."

Brian only sneered as a reply, being totally aware of the fact that it definitely wasn't Ethan's good looks that had won him Justin's heart. A second later, someone knocked on the door and Ethan's attention immediately switched away from the cat. He smiled happily and raced at the door, opening it enthusiastically. "You're here!" He exclaimed. "You managed!"

"Well", Justin replied dryly, hugging Ethan shortly and placing a quick kiss on his waiting lips, "it's not as if I was missed."

Brian rolled his lips into his mouth and stared at the floor. Was that what Justin had been thinking?

"Brian again?" Ethan asked, bringing him back to the conversation. 

"I don't want to talk about him", the blonde said, taking off his coat and his scarf, "I just want to forget." 

Ethan smiled and started unbuttoning Justin's shirt. "I could help you with that", he suggested with a seductive smile, lowering his lips until they met the soft, white flesh and nibbling teasingly. Justin moaned and threw his head back, letting himself being led towards the bed. 

Brian swallowed hard and tried his best not to look at the scene in front of him. He really didn't want to see this. To be honest, there wasn't very much that would be worse to watch than his lover's betrayal in front of his very eyes. 

"Can... I..?" Ethan coughed and held up a condom. Brian swallowed again, as did Justin. 

The blonde bit his lips and thought for a moment, apparently reconsidering his options, and nodded. Ethan's face lit up once more and he coated himself and prepared Justin. Finally, Brian managed to look away – only to meet the superior smirk of another Ethan, while groans filled the air.

"Ah, memories", he said dreamily, "that was the first time he let me top him... And what an amazing feeling that was... So hot, so soft, so perfect... But who am I telling this? You must know what I'm talking about. You were his first. You taught him everything. And you must have been a fantastic teacher if you showed him how to do this --- I had my most intense orgasms with him. Ah. Just thinking of it makes me hard."

"Say another word and I will rip your fucking head off", Brian snapped angrily and balled his fists. "You're nothing to him."

"Na, not nothing", Ethan corrected him mildly, "I was the one who gave him comfort. Love. Romance. All the stuff that you didn't want to give. And as he has been raised properly by his mother, little Justin repaid me. Wanna know how? Just listen." 

Brian felt close to exploding and gritted his teeth. Moans filled the room and echoed through his ears. "Take me away from here", he advised Ghost-Ethan, who gave a small smile and grabbed Brian's wrist.

Again, Brian was being pulled through time and the next time he opened his eyes, he saw himself fucking the Rage-Actor. Holy fuck – did he really look that good when he was close to cumming? He had to buy a camera!

"And this", Ethan announced, "is the exact moment where you lose him. Let's leave yourself fucking – well – yourself and take a look at Justin." He turned around and steered Brian out of the backroom. 

They found the blond on the dance floor – where else – together with Daphne, laughing and having fun. Then – Brian groaned just by the sight of it – the munchers came along and told Justin that Brian was in search of him. 

"And didn't that search go exceptionally well, dude?" Ethan asked sarcastically, "you nearly found him! But then, o what a shame, Rage had to come along and you lost your dick in his ass. Of course you had to go for it and search it. I can understand you. Really. I can." 

Brian just glared at him and followed Justin with his eyes while the blonde made his way through the dancing bodies. Finally, he was in the backroom and Brian caught himself wishing that Justin wouldn't see him, although he knew what was going to happen.

"Here we go, there it is – the one moment where you should have been there for him, supporting him, but as usual you were only looking after yourself. Fucking brilliant. Heartbreak-moment # 2", Ethan commented on the scene and Brian had to look away when he saw that look of hurt and disappointment in Justin's eyes for the second time in his life. As if once hadn't been enough.

"I want to go home", he stated hoarsely and looked down. Ethan threw him a long look and finally nodded.

"Alright, you don't seem as if you've already forgotten that glorious moment when he kissed me in the middle of Babylon, that golden second of triumph when he left you for me, that wonderful blink of an eye when he glanced at you and decided that you were not worth him."

A deep growl erupted from Brian's throat and before he knew what he was doing he threw himself onto the smaller man in the very hopeless attempt to strangle the ghost. In the next second, he woke up, strangling his pillow.

With an angry shout he threw the innocent pillow across the room and sighed heavily. What the heck was going on?


	3. Chapter 3

He didn't feel like sleeping after that dream/ghost/whatever-the-fuck-it-was. He felt like going out, searching the fucking fiddler and sticking his ugly violin down his ugly ass. 

But as this wasn't a real option, he decided to do some projects for work. On a Saturday night. He must be going insane, there was no other reason.

Anyway, somewhere between thinking of the right color and the perfect slogan, he must have drifted off to sleep because the next time he remembered was the very annoying ringing of his phone. He groaned and got up, ignoring the sharp pain that soared through his body due to the uncomfortable chair he had been sleeping on. Duh.

Before he could get it, the answering machine sprang to life and suddenly Justin's voice filled the room.

"Hey Brian... I'm sorry I didn't call earlier, but it's been quite busy around here. Guess who I met last night? Remember Ethan? It was a very fucked up coincidence, hell, I nearly forgot his real name and called him 'Ian'. Anyway, I gotta get my cab, call me!"

Brian stared at the small black machine as if it was a life-thread. Ethan. In New York. With Justin. And he was sitting here in dear old Pittsburgh, having those really frustrating nightmares while sweet little Sunshine was 'busy'? Busy doing what? Fuck that! 

He growled angrily and stormed off in the direction of the bathroom. And this shit about calling him 'Ian' – was that supposed to be funny? Well, ha-fucking-ha. He'll laugh tomorrow, if that is okay with you!

He hopped into the shower and began soaping his body furiously. It wasn't as if he missed Justin. It was just that stupid phone call. And those dreams. Combined, it really drove him nuts.

He needed to get this out of his system.

He needed to fuck.

Right now.

(Preferably with Justin, but he wouldn't even start thinking in that direction.)

With that, he turned off the spray, hopped out of the shower and hastily put some clothes on, grabbed his keys and left. He wouldn't sit in this lonel--- empt--- DAMN IT! He wouldn't sit in THE LOFT and stare at the phone, wishing it would ring again. He wouldn't. He wouldn't magically turn into a lezzie and lose his dick so that he would grow a pussy. He would be Brian fucking Kinney, enjoy his reputation and search someone to fuck. Hard. Fast. Without any caresses, as he wasn't with Justin. 

And where the heck did that last thought come from? Bloody hell!

Once he was outside, a cold wind blew in his face and sent a shiver down his spine. Water dripped of his hair and fell into his collar. Fucking fabulous, probably he was on his way to pneumonia and that only because of our ickle Sunshine. Shit! He needed to stop thinking about him!

Moodily, he stuck his hands in the pocket of his jeans and started walking in the direction of Liberty Ave. As always he was being eyed by at least half of the men walking by, but although he was very determined to get laid (or more precise, to lay someone), he didn't give a damn. No one interested him in the slightest and he doubted that he would feel relaxed afterwards. Probably he would only imagine Justin's disappointed face if he ever got to know about that fuck. 

Sighing, he entered the diner and slumped down unceremoniously in his favorite booth. His eyelids dropped and he let his head fall back to relax a little.

He had barely closed his eyes when someone kicked him very hard against his shins and he looked up with a startled yelp. In front of him sat Michael, smiling innocently.

"Mikey", he groaned and shook his head, "stop this shit, I'm really not in the mood right now."

"Oh, poor thing, so you're miserable?" his friend asked and tilted his head a little.

Brian frowned and groaned inwardly. Perfect, Mikey had finally discovered the fine art of hinted sarcasm and he had to be his first training object. Could his day become any worse?

"If you need to know, I haven't slept all that well the last nights", he spat back, desperately hoping that his harshness would get him rid off this conversation.

"Ah, fucking and sucking the night away like in the good ol' times?" Mikey suggested, grinning stupidly while Brian fought hard for control. S _tay calm, it's Mikey, and he doesn't know any better, he doesn't know when to leave you alone, he isn't Justin..._ Ah, fuck that thought, he didn't really need shit like that right now.

"Or was there something else that left you in this state of bitterness?" 

Damn it, couldn't he just stop talking?!

"Did you know that Ethan is in New York right now?"

Brian's head snapped up and his jaw dropped slightly. Where the hell did Mikey of all people know that from? "Eh...", he managed to get out before interrupted him.

"Funny coincidence, don't you think? One could even call it a fucked up coincidence, if you ask me."

Brian's eyes narrowed and his muscles tensed. His friend had just quoted Justin. Directly. And there wasn't any way for him to know of Justin's phone call. 

"You're not Mikey, are you?" he asked cautiously, earning himself a big smile of the person in front of him.

"Oh, you're getting quicker! Yes, you're right. I'm anybody but your best friend."

Brian merely snorted and got up. He just didn't need any more of this shit, his and Justin's past and watching over and over again how he lost the one thing in the world that he wanted to keep around more than he wanted anything else. It was enough.

"There is no thing as 'enough'", the Mikey-thing said, grabbing Brian's arm and chuckling slightly at the quote.

And there it was again, that disgusting lurching feeling in his stomach which he slowly was becoming accustomed to. The next time he opened his eyes, he saw – surprise, surprise – a younger version of Justin, lying on a very small bed and smoking a cigarette. He looked – lonely. Beautiful and breathtaking as ever, but there was something in his eyes that just didn't fit with the rest of him. When he looked around, Brian recognized his surroundings – this was the shabby apartment that his lov--- partn--- JUSTIN, for chris' sake, rented after he left him because of the whole syphilis stuff. At least that was what he had kept telling himself, that Justin only left because of the syphilis. Every other reason would be too painful to think about.

"Great, Mikey, fucking great", Brian snarled, "just what I was longing for. Him lying on his bed. I'm astonished."

The Michael-looking thing merely smiled and pointed at the phone. Seconds later, it rang.

Past-Justin ignored it completely and stared at the ceiling. His answering machine sprang to life.

"Hi, I'm either not there or won't answer the phone. So leave a message." _Beep._

"Eh, hi... This is Josh, you remember, the guy from the gallery? We talked about your pictures? Eh, well, you gave me your number so I guess it would be nice to give you a call... Well, eh, you wouldn't like to, you know, go out some time? Drink a coffee perhaps? Or something else, whatever you like. Just call back, it's 555-835212. I mean, if you want to. Well. Bye."

Brian snorted and raised his eyebrows. Wow, that guy definitely got charms. The way he could use words – awesome. Perhaps that Tosh or Posh or whatever his name was should go into advertising, they always needed clever slogans. He was probably one of those amazing thinkers who brought up phrases like "Eat rice – feel nice!" or stuff like that. If this had been his competition during their time of separation, he really shouldn't have been worried at all. Not saying that he had been worried. Well. Anyway.

Justin shook his head and lit up another cigarette. "I didn't give you my number, you asked for it", he mumbled under his breath, "just like every other fucking guy in the whole fucking city." He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply while Brian rolled his lips into his mouth and had to look away. 'Every other fucking guy in the fucking city'? What did he mean by that? About how many men exactly where they talking? How many offers did Justin get? And, more important, how many offers did he take?!

A moment later, the phone rang again. Just like the time before, the blonde didn't bother to take the call.

"Hi, I'm either not there or won't answer the phone. So leave a message." _Beep._

"Hey, it's Alex." No THAT was something else. The tiny hairs on Brian's neck immediately rose and his heart beat increased. This one was self-confident, with a sexy voice and a British accent. It was ridiculously charming. _The fucker._ "Well, I know you've got you're funny one-time-only-policy, but I thought that you should do something really risky and meet me again. Like – now. 'Cos I'm right outside your apartment, and I smell your cigarettes. So come on, open the door, let me in, and I can have my way with you. I swear you'll like it."

Brian swallowed hard and couldn't help but stare at Justin, who had begun to smile his bright sunshine-smile, only that this time it wasn't meant for him. And it hurt, seeing it on the beautiful face of the one person he loved, but being caused by someone else.

He wanted to punch that Alex-Bastard. Really hard. Right in his fucking guts. Ha.

Elegantly, Justin got off his bed and padded over to the door. "Well", he said, opening the door, "you won't believe it, but I simply KNEW that you'd be here!"

Damn it, that bloody Axel-Guy looked good. He did not only look good, to be precise, he looked fucking gorgeous. Great body, dark hair, green eyes, slightly taller than Justin – just the way the blonde liked his men. If one knew, it would be Brian. Shit.

"Hm, I wonder why?" Alex-Axel-the-stupid-British-Justin-touching-freak answered, stepping in and kissing the blonde on the lips as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Yeah, right. Fabulous. 

"Don't know, I get these weird visions every now and then so that I can tell what's going to happen next", Justin said and closed the door.

"Well, you don't need to be a genius to know what's bound to happen now", the British said, taking off his shirt and revealing a nicely toned chest. If possible, Brian felt even worse. What was this? The 'Justin-plus-other-guy'-show? Last time Ian. And now this one. Who was way better looking and much more charming than the fiddler would ever be. A much bigger competition. How come that he never heard of this Axel-dork?

"Alex...", Justin said slowly and scratched the back of his head, "I... I don't think that it would be a good idea if you... if we... well... as I said, I've got this rule..."

The dark-haired waved him off and shrugged. "Nah, come on, Jus – what harm would be done? You're hot, I'm hot, we're hot. I don't ask you to marry me. I just want another go, you know? I really enjoyed last night. Every second of it." He stepped a little closer to the blonde, softly caressing his waist through the thin fabric of his shirt. "I think you enjoyed it, too", he whispered sexily and pulled Justin towards him, meeting his lips and letting his hands explore the soft skin of the blonde's back.

Superb. Just what he had been missing, seeing how his lover enjoyed to be kissed – and most probably fucked – by someone else. As if one time hadn't been enough, here was the same shit again. How very fucking funny. "Mikey", he growled, while the British started to kiss Justin's neck, earning himself some moans, "I fucking know that Justin is hot and that I'm not the only one who noticed this, you don't have to show me this!"

"Ah, poor thing, that's not what this is about", ghost-Mikey answered, shaking his head as if he was telling a child that fire is hot, "first of all, I wanted to introduce Alex. Second, I wanted you to witness this." 

A moment later, Justin's eyes snapped back open and he stumbled away from Alex as if he had suddenly begun to stink very bad. Alex and Brain looked equally surprised at the heavily panting blonde who desperately tried to get away.

"It can't happen, Alex, I'm sorry", he managed to choke out, "there's this guy..." Brian's heart skipped a beat.

"I really don't mind", Alex informed him, smiling slightly and awaking the sudden urge to throw something heavy at him in Brian.

"But I do", Justin insisted, "and it's not that I'm not interested in you... Well, it's kind of complicated."

Both Alex and Brian raised an eyebrow, although Brian quickly put a straight face back on when he noticed that he was kind of copying Alex. Creepy. "As I planned to spent this night with you – you know, fucking the daylights out of you – I think I've got enough time to hear at least why I won't get what I was looking forward to."

Justin grinned and shoved a hand through his hair. "He... We... Well. Let's just say that I'm more the monogamous kind and he – well --- he isn't."

"That's not that complicated, you know", the British said and chuckled quietly, "and it sure as hell isn't a reason not to fuck."

"I love him", Justin stated simply, "and you remind me of him, in a way. So – it would probably be the most stupid thing for me to stumble right into the next unhealthy relationship just after finally finishing the last one."

"So he is the sexy, good looking and very well hung kind of guy", Alex said, tilting his head. The blonde smiled.

"Yes, he is", he replied softly, "and he's an arrogant prick who thinks of himself as God's gift to gay PA."

Alex stared at him for a minute and finally turned to pick his shirt up. "He's lucky", he said while he let himself out, "as I said, you're hot."

"Thanks", Justin said, still smiling, "as you said, so are you."

The door closed with a loud thud and Brian awoke startled, staring at a sandwich in front of him.

"As usual, right, hon?" Debbie said and smacked her bubble gum.

Brian just nodded, still absorbed in the dream. 


	4. Chapter 4

  
Author's notes: Sorry I didn't update earlier... It's been some very strenous month and it's not going to improve, so don't kill me mentally if my updates do not come on a regular basis. This is also extra hard for me because English isn't my mother tongue, and my Beta just vanished (since chapter one, btw...) Anyway, hope you like it!  


* * *

He barely touched his food but stared blindly at the plate, completely unaware of the inviting glances that were thrown into his direction every now and then. Only when a person slid into the booth in front of him, he looked up and narrowed his eyes.

"What?!" he barked out in an annoyed voice, "I've seen enough of you! Fuck off!"

The big brown eyes of his best friend widened in shock and his lip started to quiver dangerously. "But... Brian... I... What... Why...?" he choked out and looked as if he was about to cry, calming Brian instantly.

"For fuck's sake, sit down, Mikey", he growled and pushed his plate away, not feeling very hungry at all. 

"I... ehh... well, I just wanted to see if you're alright, Ted said you behaved very weird yesterday, and, well, I read the paper today, and WOW, did you ever think that this Ethan-guy would ever get that famous? Anyway, did you know that he is in New York right now? And in that interview, he also said something like 'wanting to meet old friends', do you think he talked about Justin? Have you heard from him lately?" Mikey mumbled in an astonishing speed, obviously still a bit shaken by Brian's rude behaviour before and filled with the need to replace the awkward silence between them with some words, not noticing that a dark cloud slowly appeared above his friend's head.

"He called", he replied shortly, "told me about Ian."

"Ah, so you did know, I already thought so when I came hin and saw you with your face all grumpy... Did you know that you always get that freaky look in your eyes when you're jealous? Or afraid that someone would take Justin away? You got it with Ethan, you got it with Cody, it's always there. Very funny, though."

Brian did not find it funny at all. He felt like banging his head against the wall.

"Mikey", he said, fighting for calmness, "I don't look 'grumpy'. That world doesn't even exist in my world. And I for sure don't get a 'freaky' look in my eyes. I am Brian Kinney."

"Of course you are", his friend replied hastily, "and I-- I didn't meant that you looked strange. Or scary. Or something. Just a little pissed off. But – eh – that only makes you look more sexy. It's that predator-thing, you know."

"Mikey", Brian said with a sigh, "shut up." 

Mikey obliged and swallowed, starting to fidget in his seat. He wasn't a fan of silence, especially when his best friend had this strange look in his eyes. As if he could hardly keep himself from ranting. 

"Gotta go, see you later", his friend announced and got up, not in the mood to calm down Mikey when he felt like flying to New York to beat up that stupid fiddler. Shit, he hadn't thought about that dickhead for about 3 years, and now take a look at this! Bloody damn hell!

Mikey stared after him, a small pout on his face, but not daring to ask if he should call him later. He would simply do so, Brian needed a friend right now and he'd be there for him, no matter what.

When Brian got back to the loft, his answering machine blinked at him evilly. He sighed but pushed the button nevertheless, and suddenly Justin's voice filled the loft once again. It kind of hurt, as this was probably the way it had to be from now on – only the stupid telephone and weekend visits left for their non-relationship. It just wasn't fair, finally accepting all those ugly facts about love and everything when all that he got from it was pain and more pain. Duh. Did he really just think that?

_You have two new messages._

_Message one, received at 13.48._

"Use your phone. Dial. Now." _Beep._

_Message two, received at 15.13._

"You know, I'm a busy man, too. And busy mans have the right to get royally pissed if they're being ignored. Just to let you know."

_To save these messages, press 2.To erase --- Messages saved._

Brian stared at his fingers in wonder, not really knowing why he didn't erase those stupid messages. Why did he do this? Did he already need reminders that Justin still wanted him and wasn't hanging around with this Axel-guy or even worse the fiddler? Eugh. Better not think about it.

He shook his head and took out his cell, pressing one on his speed dial. It ringed only once.

" _Well, see who finally found his phone."_ He didn't really sound angry, though. Just annoyed, maybe.

"Hey twat." Did he feel nervous? He couldn't, could he? Nervousness wasn't registered in his genes.

" _Oh, so you're trying to get out of this by being especially nice? Hm. Might work."_ Jep. Definitely annoyance.

"I've been busy." Pretty lame.

" _Busy, eh? Come on, Brian. What's wrong with you? Even you tend to talk more usually. Is something wrong?"_

Like the fact that you're in the same town as Fridolin, the Fucking Fiddler? Or that there are dozens of hot gay men that are banging at your door in the middle of the night? Or that I didn't get any sleep since you left because someone seems to think that it would be hilariously funny to torture me with ghosts of our past? "Work's been a bitch." 

"..." He didn't believe him. Of course he didn't. He knew him too well. Fuck.

He sighed.

"I kinda miss to fuck you, you know."

" _Always the romantic."_ The annoyance was still there, but he could here him smile. It made him feel warm.

Silence again. Then, a soft sigh, and a whispered: _"I love you."_

He smiled. For the first time in days, probably. "I know."

 

After the call, he felt remarkably better. It was really amazing how Justin could completely enlighten his day without even being in the same town. Or in the same time zone. 

He even thought that now would probably be a good time to sleep a little bit. Scrooge had been visited thrice, right? He should be finished as well then. Somehow this gave him an eerie calmness, and this combined with his lack of sleep let his eyelids drop as fast as he sat down on his couch.

Apparently someone didn't seem to think that he should sleep right now because just as he closed his eyes, a loud banging could be heard at his door. He sighed in frustration and got up, walking towards the door angrily and sliding it open. 

And there stood, with a big, toothy smile on his face, his little boy. Gus.

"Gus?"

"Expected someone else?" For a five-year-old, his son was a little smart-ass. Must be stuck in the DNA.

"What are you doing here?"

"That's not very polite, dada. You should ask me to come in and give me some cookies. Mama always does this, you know." Yeah, right. Just what he needed. A little lesson in good manners, lectured by a kindergarten-kid. 

"Come in", he sighed and stepped aside, "want some cookies?"

Gus smiled. "No, thanks."

That was the moment that it struck him. A five-year-old, refusing to eat cookies? A five-year-old, alone in front of his loft? A five-year-old, teaching him about manners?

Bloody hell. They really had a weird sense of humour.

"You're not Gus."

Gus-ghost smiled even toothier. "Ts, and I was told that you weren't exactly a clever one. They must've been mistaken, mustn't they? What gave me away? I think it's the language. I really tried, but it's very hard to speak like a child if you've been on earth for so long... Well, anyway, we're not here to talk, are we?"

Now THIS was really freaky. Hell, he could handle Ted, Ian and Michael to make his life miserable – he didn't really expect something else in real life. Especially concerning the stupid fiddler. But his son? His little boy, the miniatur of himself? How fucked up was that? "Please.... Could you chance your appearence?" He wasn't begging. He was politely asking. 

Gus shook his head, his eyes sparkling in a mad kind of way. "Nope, I made my choice and now I'm stuck in here. But it has it's advantages – like no paying for the underground and being pitied all the way long because I'm a cute little guy wandering through PA all by myself..."

Argh. He couldn't go an gave someone who looked like his son a good, solid punch, could he? Damn it. 

"I refuse to have you here. I refuse to talk to you. I refuse to go with you. And I refuse to see any of you ever again! SO. FUCK. OFF!" he spat angrily and grabbed Gus' shoulder in order to shove him outside. But no such luck – as soon as he touched the ghost, the strange feeling in his stomach came back and in the next second he found himself standing in Michael's kitchen. 

"Now, that was way too early", Gus-ghost ranted and shot him a furious look, "you know, touching us is a very silly idea! I wasn't prepared to go yet! You messed with my plan, and now look – no one's here yet! Everyone will think that this is due to my lack of organization, and this is all your fault!"

Brian didn't even listen. Instead, he let his eyes wander through the room and asked himself which horrid scenario had taken place in here. Had Michael and Justin fuckend? Ben and Justin? Justin and Hunter? Or did they have some awkward orgy, with Justin being sandwiched between the dear professor and good ol' Mikey?!

"I really don't want to see this", he said weakly, only earning himself a snort of his son-like companion. 

"And I really don't care", he answered immediately and crossed his arms above his chest, "oh, and by the way, I'm not one who lives in the past. I'm a present one."

Brian eyes him suspiciously, not really sure what he should take out of this. A present one? Well, nice. Good for you.

"... No, Ben, I'm telling you, he is NOT alright!" Mikey said, his voice coming from the left, but not yet to be seen. A sigh could be heard, obviously made by Ben.

"Well, what did you expect? Justin just left. Of course he's sad." Brian winced slightly and shook his head. Brian Kinney, sad? Ts. Typical Zen-Ben statement.

"That's not it! You should have seen how he snapped at me today, and for no reason!" With that, the shorter brunet appeared in the door and Brian had to swallow hard. Michale wore the exact outfit in which he had seen him moments before, and even Mikey changed at least his t-shirts on a one-day-basis. What was going on there? He threw a questioning look at his companion, who sighed melodramatically. 

"Right, maybe I was wrong in saying that you weren't stupid", he said in an annoyed voice and shook his head, "didn't you listen? I just told you. I'm a present one."

Brian frowned, still not understanding. Gus rolled his eyes.

"One of the fucking ghosts of the present, damn it!" he barked out, and finally Brian got it. He was really stuck in Dicken's christmas story, although he had to get through this on a much more horrible level. Three ghosts for every time?! That couldn't be true, could it? That would mean that there were still 5 ghosts to come after this Gus-imitating-thing had disappeared! Bloody damn hell!

"Michael, I'm sure he didn't mean it that way... You know Brian, everytime he's upset he hides behind that wall of harshness", Ben answered and came in after his husband, gently turning him around.

_Wall of harshness_. Trust Ben to come up with such bullshit.

"Well, of course he does, but usually I was able to get through that wall, you know...", Michael mumbled, and Ben only smiled a soft smile at him.

"That's not your job anymore", he answered silently, "he's got Justin for that, just as you got me. You both grew up. If something bad or good happens, you're not the first one he calls anymore. It's Justin. And you have to accept that."

Stupid professor. As if he fucking knew that Brian could hear every single word of it. 

Michael sighed, but nevertheless smiled. "I do", he answered and melted into Ben's embrace, "but now, with Justin gone... I thought he'd need me."

Ben's eyes searched the room and stopped at Brian's face, although there was no way in which he could possibly see him. Gus next to him chuckled quietly while Ben stared into the brunet's eyes, saying in a very sincere voice: "Right now, the thing he needs most is Justin."

He swallowed hard, unable not to return the intense gaze, when suddenly a small child-hand grabbed his wrist. "This will do", Gus stated happily, blinking twice, and the next thing Brian heard was a loud banging at his door.

 


End file.
